Authonomy – Friday Flash Fiction [FFF]
Post: FFF – October 5, 2013
Theme / Genre: Cheese
Include: –
Words: 1,000
Social Media and
Cheese
I wait for the stragglers to fill the seats, chatting as
they arrive, carrying their pens and paper, some with coffee, some with a glass
of wine. The usual crowd are in, along
with some newer faces. Lilian sits with
the girls at the nearest table, all ready to heckle, given the chance. Theirs is a wine table.
Debbie’s aromatic herbal teas have attracted Bea and others to
the centre table. Ron, Ray and the other
lads are all sharing a joke at the back of the room. New faces introduce themselves to the regular
friendly bunch.
‘Good evening, everyone.
Shall we start,’ I stand and turn to my Smart Board.
‘Right you are, Prince Valiant.’
A name coined by Leelah, but it is Tonia who kicks off the
evening. Looks like it’s going to be a
fun night. Bringing up two graphic logos
that fill the screen, I turn to face the group.
‘Oh no,’ Etienne whispers, under his breath.
‘Facebook versus Twitter.’
The room falls silent for a second, as if all are hypnotised. A thorny subject, but as writers, another set
of tools that should be utilised. Some
do, some don’t, some don’t know how.
‘I love twitter,’ I begin.
‘I don’t understand it,’ says Sylvania. A feeling most of the group have; I need to
quash it.
‘That’s why I thought we could discuss it today; show you
what it’s all about, and how you can use it.’
‘Good luck with that,’ Neville’s voice, from the back.
So, how do I
explain this.
‘Right, first we have Facebook or as you guys say FB. I’ve recently gone back to FB, because most
of my new Autho friends hang out there. Although, I was really surprised nobody really
tweeted.’
‘FB is so much easier,’ Judith says.
‘Do you think so? Let
me try to explain.’
‘Simple terms please, no long wordage thingmees,’ Diane
adds.
‘Simple analogy, Cheese.’
The room falls silent, all but a whispering of “Cheese? Cheese?”.
‘Yep, cheese. Now
let’s get to the basic_’
‘In my state, Wisconsin, we are known as
“Cheeseheads”,’ Jed says.
‘Sweet dreams are made of cheese, …’
‘Thanks, Zap and Jed.
Let’s start with_’
‘From Abbaye de Belloc to Zanetti Parmigiano Reggiano there
are over 650 speciality cheeses from some 60 countries around the world you
know. I once attended a fascinating
lecture where tasting of the cheeses was paramount, really fascinating, and
tasty.’
‘Thanks, Bill, but I’m going to use only a few examples
today.’ Bill is a mindful of knowledge,
never fails to educate us all.
‘Some cheese, if you please, pretty please, some cheese,’ Shirley
narrates. ‘Have you any samples, Matt?’
‘No, I didn’t think we would_’
‘Cheddar Gorge’us,’ says Yvonne.
‘Yes, Jarlsberg, Quark, Camembert, many exist. Who here loves cheese, show hands, umm that’s
most I’d say. Well it’s like this,’ I
compose myself. ‘Facebook can be seen as
a mature blue-vein cheese, such as Stilton, whereas Twitter is a younger cheese
like, say, Feta.’
Peace, at last their all listening.
‘Stilton is a slower process, there’s no hurry, as FB. You post up some comments and people take their
time, comment or not, go back to their timeline in their own leisure, to check
out what friends have posted.
‘Feta is a faster
produced cheese, Twitter is quick. It’s
not what you’ve done; it’s what you’re doing, now. Don’t get me wrong, I like both these cheeses,
but at different times and in different ways, it’s the same with social media. The Stilton FB way is with a glass of wine,
feet up, a catch up with old friends.’
‘Glass of wine sounds good,’ Tonia says, looking around and
receiving nods of approval.
‘The Twitter Feta way is of the moment, see the latest news,
what people are doing, drop in, drop out.
Tweets are quick one-liners, you click through on links if you’re
interested, or let them pass by. As with
FB you can always go back, or revisit to see what friends had been doing.’
‘I think most are happy to stay with the wine,’ more nods of
approval.
‘Twitter tweets are snapshots, the crumbly bits, click
through to get to the bigger blocks. You
can tweet as much, or as little, as you like; no one will mind. What they will want is interest. The Twitter timeline is so quick, it’s just
as well tweets are short, but the advantage is that you can ignore the
uninteresting and they’re gone; hopefully replaced with something that is
interesting.’
‘Why are there so many tweets saying the same thing,’
Maurice asks.
‘Retweeting yours or other tweets has the same result as
bumping on Autho, where little crumbs of cheese are flicked around the globe at
different times, for those who may have missed out on the nibbles.’
‘There doesn’t seem much substance, are you saying they open
up more.’
‘Exactly, Scott. The
best part about Twitter is the wealth of information. Each tweet you send should have a hashtag
associated with it, for easy retrieval.
Like this,’ I face the Smart Board and write.
“See my latest #flashfiction #writing on the #authonomy
forum.”
‘From this tweet people will find it if they search for,
flashfiction, or writing, or authonomy.
Some people have a Twitter Client, which they use to read tweets, and
set it to find certain tags as they are typed, this means others can find you
without having to follow you. Following
is equivalent to FB friends, but a lot more open.’
‘But what do you do with followers?’
‘The more interesting your tweets the more followers you’ll
get, the more followers you get that are interested in what you tweet about, or
ultimately write, the more potential buyers you will have for any cheesy books
you may have the fortune to publish.’
Silence again.
‘Sorry, did I say something wrong!’
Next week: Emmental Swiss cheese – the one with the holes
– we will reference writing: what you should leave out.
